9 Things You Don’t Understand About Kids These Days

If you were born before 1980 you probably have some serious doubts about the future of the human race. The kids these days — and by “kids,” you mean everyone under 30 — have both hands filled with unfamiliar technology, and they seem utterly incapable of communicating without pictures and videos. What’s the deal? Well, find a comfortable seat, because you are about to learn more than you cared to about today’s young people.

1. The Phone Call Fear

They are called smartphones for a reason, but the younger generations seem to run away in terror whenever their phones ring. It’s true: Text- and image-based messaging feels more natural to younger smartphone users. One study found that young people prefer texting to talking because phone calls require immediate responses and rob them of control over the conversation. Whatever the reason, your new appropriate forms of communication are as follows, in order of importance: text, SnapChat, Facebook message.

2. The Emoji Phenomenon

How does a woman holding up her hand express sassiness? How does a woman in a flamenco dress express dismissal? How can a crying cat possibly mean joy? You probably think that meanings assigned to emoji are utterly random — and you might be right. However, emoji is turning into a real method of communication, so you better learn it before English goes the way of Latin.

3. The Vaping Movement

When you were a kid, cigarettes were cool — no matter what the Surgeon General said — and tech gadgets were for nerds. Well, the tables have turned. Vaping with an electronic cigarette is praised as trendy and chic, while traditional tobacco smokers look slovenly and outdated. If you still enjoy nicotine, you better make the switch before they just stop selling your fuzzy-tipped friends.

4. The Tinder Experience

When it first started, online dating seemed sad and desperate, but now young people seem to prefer using the Web to engineer social encounters. The founder of Tinder, Sean Rad, explains that the world is actually becoming less social due to fear of new people; he noticed, “people grew closer to their small groups of friends but grew farther apart from the rest of the world in the process.” Thus, the stigma has disappeared from online dating due to necessity, and perhaps you should rejoice that some people still seek personal contact.

5. The EDM Craze

Techno music has been around for decades, and its takeover of mainstream music probably shouldn’t surprise anyone. The fast beats, the easy melodies, and the simple lyrics encourage senseless dancing, which is why most people listen to music now. It isn’t the music you grew up with — but then, what did your parents think of new wave, hard rock, rap, and the other brand-new genres of the ‘70s and ‘80s?

6. The Obsession With Cats

Short answer: They’re the cutest. Long answer: Dr. Michael Newall of the University of Kent says that people are drawn to cats because their large eyes and button noses mimic those of babies. No matter what the cause, cats have become popular sources of entertainment, directly rivaling the popularity of dogs on television and the Internet.

7. The Different Types of Celebrities

Fame was once so simple: You could do something fantastic, or you could do something deplorable, and you would gain it. Now, it seems you don’t have to do much of anything at all to become a celebrity, as demonstrated by the Kardashian clan, Stephen Baldwin, Lindsay Lohan’s parents, and more. If you can gain a few hundred thousand views on YouTube or Instagram, consider yourself a star.

8. The Unending Nostalgia

It is time for the younger generation to take up the torch and light the way to the future — but they can’t stop talking about what it was like to live in the ‘90s. Millennials are particularly afflicted by what has been dubbed “early-onset nostalgia,” and their obsession even influences how they respond to marketing. Researchers can’t seem to agree on what is causing the nostalgia — it could be the economy, the technology, or both — but it’s certain you can expect hundreds more blogs about Disney Princesses in your lifetime.

9. The Selfie Epidemic

You know that pictures are important mementos, especially when life can change so quickly and drastically. But most young people could fill entire albums with the photos they take of just themselves. Perhaps the selfie is the missing piece of communication; facial expressions are essential elements of verbal communication that voice and text have long lacked. Alternatively, maybe kids just like looking at themselves in pictures.