My youngest turns 3 today and my heart breaks a little. I ask her every day to just stay little. And she tries! She’s just a peanut that I can still curl up and cradle in my arms but she’s getting bigger and smarter every day. While I love watching her grow, I ache knowing she’s my last baby. I’ll be 35 in two days and as much as I’ve struggled with the thought of never having anymore kids, I think I’m finally ready to admit that the three beautiful children I have fill my heart so full that I can live peacefully without a fourth. And by peacefully, I mean chaotically. Three DEFINITELY keep me busy!
So instead I’ll just try to hang on to those threads of memories of my babies as newborns and carrying them in my womb. And when I get little pangs of what might be regret, I’ll remind myself of the morning sickness and pure exhaustion that nothing but pregnancy can produce — maybe that will kick me back to reality. Today I’ll celebrate my baby girl’s beautiful smile, her sweet personality, the giggles and silly songs she sings and try to bottle it up so I can keep it forever. I don’t ever want to forget these early years. I am blessed.
Happy Birthday, Parker!