These expert tips are provided by the wonderful parenting experts at Parent Guide.
Has your little one transitioned from play school to big school? Perhaps you thought a year or so at play school would bring him or her out of their shell before they joined reception class, yet it’s appeared to have had the opposite effect.
The first thing to do is not to worry; in many cases, confidence comes with age and is best left to develop naturally. That said, there are a few things you can do to encourage a shy son or daughter prior to or during their all-important school days. Here’s how:
Try Not to ‘Rescue’ Your Child – As a mother or father, it’s perfectly normal to want to go out of your way to ensure your child doesn’t feel hurt or discouraged. If, for example, he or she hasn’t been invited to a particular social activity that the other kids have been invited to, trying to get them included might do more harm than good. In much the same way as it’s important to encourage and reward successes, it’s also vital that your little one knows it’s okay to fail at something, too. If they haven’t been picked to be the lead in the nativity play, that’s fine too. Kids learn to succeed by overcoming obstacles and it’s important you give them chance to learn from them. Allow them to take risks – within reason – offering encouragement, without overdoing it. And if they’re not so vocal when it comes to making new friends, leave them to it for the time being. Even small children can be made to feel humiliated if you draw attention to flaws or try to push them into doing something they don’t want to do, so bear this in mind. Allow him or her to make decisions – again, within reason – and in time they’ll gain confidence in their own judgement.
Be Positive – Using a ‘glass half full’ approach, help your child become more optimistic wherever possible. If they’ve not done so well in a team game or sport, urge them to consider ways they can go on to improve or achieve their goals, without putting them down and making them feel worse. This is a tactic that works well for kids of all ages; start by sitting them down and discussing ways you can work together to improve certain skills, which will give them the confidence boost they need. If he or she is showing a real interest in a particular hobby or skill, nurture it; kids feel most confident when they’re encouraged to do what they enjoy. Similarly, if your child is struggling in a particular subject at school, they may revert into themselves and be wary of putting up their hand to answer questions. Try to encourage all kinds of educational activities via play and you may find their confidence improves in the process.
Work On Your Own Confidence – Have you considered that working on your own self-confidence might have a positive impact on your child, too? If something is stopping you from being and appearing confident, address it before your child starts to emulate your behavior. Help bring out the best in your little one by ensuring the best for you, too. You may learn something about yourself in the process and it could benefit your other relationships as well. There are plenty of self-help guides and tools available online, so why not utilize them to ensure the very best for your offspring?